Kiss with a Fist
by Iridescent Shadows
Summary: It makes me mad. I can't smile; I'm not good at it. But he can smile at anything and then at nothing and everyone likes him for it. Warning: Fluff, one shot, confliction. SaiSaku


I don't own any characters

Summary: It makes me mad. I can't smile; I'm not good at it. But he can smile at anything and then at nothing and everyone likes him for it.

Inspiration: The title of the song 'Kiss with a Fist' by Florence and the Machine gave me a fluffy kinda daydream I decided to put into words.

Warning: Fluff, one shot, confliction

Pairing: SaiSaku

* * *

**Kiss with a Fist**

B**y** I**r**i**d**e**s**c**e**n**t** S**h**a**d**o**w**s

* * *

It's cold, and wet, and quiet; I'm walking home from the training grounds, soaked to the bone and chilled… but when I look, he's _happy_? We walk side by side, wordlessly and yet I can feel his enthusiasm waft around him and onto me. I don't understand the reasons behind his good spirits, but he never really has reasons. Does he?

I run my fingers through a chunk of my damp pink hair hanging at the side of my face, giving myself an excuse to tilt my head and sneak a peek at him. He's smiling, as he always is despite his circumstances, but looking straight ahead. I glance ahead of us shly, expecting to see someone or something worth smiling over, but there isn't. There never is. When I look, there is nothing; it's cold and wet and quiet.

What's there to smile about?

I look back to him and he's still just smiling at nothing.

It makes me mad. Really mad! I can't smile; I'm not good at it. People often tell me I look scary or I'm unapproachable because I always seem to be scowling or glaring. And then when I do smile people think I'm looking down on them or acting condescending, but I'm not. I can't help it, it's just my face, and it hurts to know I'm not pretty enough for people.

It makes me want to ignore them, shrink away from then and never return. I try really hard though, I grin and smile and giggle randomly, but it only frightens people more… But he can do it. He can smile at anything and then at nothing, it doesn't matter what, he's always smiling and everyone likes him for it. That's why he makes me mad.

I hate it, he pisses me off!

…but… he makes me happy too. Even though I'm unapproachable, and condescending and scary and all that other crap people call me when I'm not around… _he_ likes me. Enough at least. He comes to me every day, without hesitation or reluctance, and smiles. It warms my heart when he does that. I know I'm hard to look at, I know I've a temper that rivals my sensei's and I know I've a rep that makes people shake, but he doesn't seem to care. He comes to me the same way, the same time, everyday no matter what awful thing I did to him the day before. He is determined, in whatever it is he's trying to accomplish by spending too much time with me, he is very determined.

That's what makes me happy, how he likes me regardless of my outward appearance…

And I like his face, I like to see him smile at me all the time. Makes me feel wanted, makes me feel normal. He has a perfectly sculpted face. It's smooth and his flawless skin is so light in contrast to his soft ebony hair. He's a handsome face. Even more so when he smiles; all the girls like him. Which poses the question:

Why does he smile at me so?

I've never been particularly nice to him; heck all I do is use him as my personal punching bag! And I've never saved his life; on the contrary, he saves mine. And I've never made him take an oath like Naruto or begged for his company like Sasuke. So why come willingly? What have I ever done for him?

The mystery question makes me mad at him again.

In my brooding, he catches sight of me and I suddenly realize I've been staring. With a blush and a glare I give him a good right hook. Instinct. The blow lands solid. He grunts and takes the punch, but he does not move away and he does not retaliate.

That's usually when someone walks away or shouts at me with a "what the hell" liner; but Sai is special, he's never angry with me, he's almost too nice. That makes me happy too, so I shout, "Why the hell are you always sneering like that? It's miserable out. You're so stupid. I don't know why I talk to you!"

Though I've said this, and for a moment he's confused, he smiles and steps closer to me. He's warm, and under his umbrella of black ink, he's dry and it feels good when he's close. Like his good mood is rubbing off on me. I can see him clearer now, and have an excuse to make eye contact with him. His impact on me triples and I notice the smaller things about him.

There are beads of water in his hair, and I want to touch them. There are stray hairs on his forehead, and I want to brush them back. His shirt is sprinkled in water droplets and is beginning to stick to his toned build, I want to smooth him out. His skin has pinked around his nose and the tips of his ears, I want to hold him and warm him up….

I then catch sight of him watching me as I look over him. I blush. He's still smiling.

"I'm just happy," he shrugs, answering my question, "Is that so wrong?"

"Yes," I hiss, once again finding myself envying him for his natural optimism. "It's cold and wet. Why would you be happy?" He doesn't stop smiling and I feel my anger rise.

"It's beautiful out," he contradicts in a gentle tone. A tone so soft and genuine I am taken aback and for a moment forget where I am. I look around- I expect it to be warm and sunny and perhaps I was under a genjutsu - but everything is still grey and limp and… sad looking. The sky is dark, the clouds are ugly puffs of black, the grass looks dead and all the trees and flowers go limp under the water pressure.

"Can you see it?" He asks softly.

I wish I could, I feel like such a pessimist, such a downer, such a terrible awful person to be around; but I can't see it. So I try again. The leaves are limp and darkened from lack of sunlight, the ground is squishy and makes squeaky sounds when we step, the birds and crickets are gone and all you can hear is the constant, annoying patter of the falling rain. I can't see beauty in this. How can _he_?

"Sakura?"

"No," I snap, feeling tears build in my eyes, turning away from him stubbornly and fisting my hands in my skirt, "I can't see. There's nothing beautiful about today!"

I hear his chuckle and peek at him with a glare. He scrutinizes my face for a long moment before his smile softens and his eyes finally take up his happiness and liquidate. I feel my whole body turn towards him; I am completely transfixed by him.

_He's smiling_; I squeal inside, _he's really smiling! _Sai always smiles, no matter what. When he fights, when he sleeps, when he thinks, when he eats; he's always smiling. But it's fake. When you spend as much time with him as I do, you realize the little flaws in his smile; the way his eyes are cold and flat, or the way his lips don't move when he smiles or the way his cheeks don't lift all the way up. It's his default almost - a smile - and it takes a lot to get him to actually smile. Usually its Naruto or Kakashi that makes him _actually_ smile, not me, and even then that's rare.

Sai has a great sense of humor, but it takes a lot to get him to laugh (like Kiba and Akamaru's training sessions). Sai is sweet to all but you have to do something really spectacular (like Naruto saving Sasuke) to get to his heart. Sai is never mean to anyone but you have to be completely selfless (like Hinata saving Naruto from Pain) to impress him. Sai is very strong but you must be like a rock to earn his respect (like Lee and him dueling it out). Sai is an amazing artist but you must be completely unbiased for him to accept your praise (like Shikamaru).

In short I'm too imperfect for him to like any of my qualities. I'm not funny like Kiba, or sweet like Naruto, or selfless like Hinata or strong like Lee or fair like Shikamaru; his smile confuses me so.

_Why does he smile at me like that? What have I done that's so right? I've insulted him haven't I? Why smile at that?_

The brilliance of his smiling face has caught me off guard and when I realize I nail him in the shoulder with another well-laid punch. He grunts, I growl, but he still smiles. "I'll help you," he offers, the happiness in his eyes fading away and his smile hardening. I want to cry…

"Like…" he trails off, looking around for some "beauty" while I compose myself. I tug at my hair and shuffle my feet when, "Ah! There!" He takes my hand - my heart jumps and my skin seems to melt with fire - and pulls me off to the side of the path, pointing at a patch of drooping flowers.

… I wait, less than patiently, but he just stands there.

"What?"

"They're beautiful," he states, bending down to examine them closer, "Look." I bend down with him, hiding my blush as I fiddle with my ear. Luckily he's very absorbed right now and doesn't notice.

He reaches out a slender finger and runs it along the underbelly of a red petal, causing water drop to fall and shimmer. I gasp. "See, look at the way the water catches the light. Or the way the petal is streaked with different shades of red. See how the petal has texture, it's beautiful."

He looks to me expectantly.

I wait a moment, searching his eyes for true happiness but find only excitement. I sigh and look to the flower. He's right, of course, it is kind of pretty. I guess the water does look beautiful like that; small and circular, catching the rays of who knows what light and reflecting it like little crystals. I can see the lines of different colors of red all so similar that when not focused on, one would say the petal was a solid color. I still don't see much of a texture, maybe he means how it looks like leather, but I'm not sure.

I reach out to touch the petal and suddenly have a new appreciation for the plant. I spend hours on hours and quart on quarts of care and lotion on my body, but even I'm not _that_ soft! Softer that a newborn baby, softer that Naruto's silky hair and soft than Akamaru's perfectly groomed fur!

I pull back and get to my feet. Sai speaks again. "Now stare at one spot in the distance and focus on the water drops around you."

I blink down at him in confusing, but he holds his smile and I realize he's serious.

So I try. Staring at a bleak looking tree about a yard or so away, I let my vision loosen and focus on the water drops. He's right, again, it _is_ beautiful. It's like someone sprinkled glitter on the world, little specs of color sparkling everywhere; I turn, and see more glitter. It's in his hair, it's on my arm, it's on the ground, it's on the leaves, it's on the flowers and it's in the air as it falls from the sky.

Everything shimmers and everything glistens, the cold suddenly becomes pin pricks on my skin and I notice that the air is cold in contrast to the water. I realize the pants that droop are also opened wide to soak up the rain and that though the clouds are dark and ugly they still look as though they were painted.

"Wow…"

"Beautiful, right?" There is a hint of laughter in his voice but I may it no mind.

I nod wordlessly, swallowing hard and thinking to myself, _why haven't I noticed this before? Why was it I couldn't see this on my own. I'm a medic nin; I'm supposed to see what others don't. And here I am being shown how to _see_ the rain…_

I love Sai's insight. Yet I hate how he is so sharp and is always so happy when I am the opposite of both.

I flinch with recognition._ He's watching me_, I realize and I shoot him daggers that make him smile. My heart lodges itself in my throat and my cheeks catch fire in the rain; he's smiling again and I just can't _take_ it!

I then realize I've stepped out from under the umbrella - which explains my sudden numbness in my fingers and the frosty bite on my face - and shout, "I'm getting soaked! Get over here!" He stands and comes over with a smile, a real one, to shield me from the rain. Now I'm wet again and colder than before, I feel my nose and toes and heat painfully. "Let's go home already."

He nods, his smile fading away.

The path from the training grounds to my house isn't very long, five minutes at most - I walk it nearly every day - but it felt like an eternity before my foot hit my doorstep. I sigh in relief, feeling the heavy anticipation between us fizzle some so I can breathe. I then notice a different feeling in the air…. apprehension.

I look to Sai, already knowing what to expect; goodbyes are Sai's weakness. His smiles always falter when he says goodbye, they lose a little bit of life. It should be a crime for such a beautiful person to entertaining such a miserable expression. I can't watch it… That's why I don't plan on letting him say goodbye, _I'm_ going to say it, and I won't even use the word goodbye.

I give Sai a long and steady look, holding him at my house with my gaze when there is a sudden rumble from above. I blink and Sai frees himself, looking to the ground as I look up. The rain has picked up, the clouds have darkened considerably and the wind is colder now.

_Maybe it'll storm. _I think to myself, noticing the spark of lightening off in the distance as the storm settles itself fully over Konoha. I then look back to Sai as he marvels from a distance, the a dying plant in my yard. _Should I invite him in? Should I—_

Sai then looks up and I'm hit with a blast of something; my heart constricts at the look in his deep, brown eyes."Goodbye." I feel my lungs turn to stone and my stomach crawl up into my throat…

Sai isn't smiling. I stand there in shock and pain, my eyes wide and disbelieving, but still he does not smile. Sai never stops smiling, even when he and Naruto part at the training field every day or when he departs for one of his special, Tsunade-assigned missions.

This should be simple for us both, saying goodbye for the day and going our separate ways in a thunderstorm, I see no reason for him to be upset. But whatever his unknown reason, there is something wild and angry raging in Sai's layered irises.

"Y-yeah," I breathe out, for some reason I turn from him, "Good…bye. I'll um, I'll see you later?" It hurt to say that, but I didn't understand why…

I feel a pang of fear. _Wait,_ the sound of Sai turning and his foot hitting the ground behind me seems magnified in my ears, _I don't want this!_

I feel as if this is the end, that if I let him leave me with that simple goodbye, it'll be all over. I don't want that. I want him! I want to stay with him. Sai is all I have after all, with Sasuke around again Naruto and Kakashi have their hands full, and Sasuke has refused to let me come near him. I've been cast out and left alone, I only have Sai and his smile.

_Don't leave me here alone! _

Like it's being projected through a blow horn, I can hear each of his steps, further and further from me. I spin on my heel, opening my mouth and in the process of shouting out something mean, a bolt of lightning splits the sky and a crack of thunder shakes my bones!

I'm temporarily stunned, looking at the lightning and then to the grey clouds and then to Sai. He's looking at the lightning too, staring up at the display while I fumble over my words. I'm still looking at his back, he hasn't turned; he didn't hear me. I have to be louder. But he starts walking again and I blurt out, "S-" I cut myself short, clamping a hand over my mouth. My cheeks ignite and I spin to face my door and flee but I end up doing a 360 and face him again, "Sai wait!"

He pauses and I feel my stomach twist with anxiety. _Turn, _I beg_, don't leave me. Turn! _He turns to me with a surprised expression, the traces of his smile faint but still there…

"I-It's gonna storm," I stutter, pulling at the hem of my wet shirt, "W-why don't you wait it out here for a while? I'll put on a pot of tea, o-or we could just watch a movie. I've got a lot of movies, you can pick whatever you want and just- Oh," I gasp suddenly realize he is also soaked, "I could let you use my shower, or if you don't want to I have a really bid sweater from my Dad you could borrow. It doesn't fit me but it should fit you. And I've got a phone you could use if you wanna call someone to pick you up, but I-"

The crunch of his boot on cement startles me and I look up to see his towering before me with a genuine smile that knocks the breath from my lungs. I feel my cheeks heat and my chest tighten as I brace myself. He cocks his head and his smile reaches his ears - I'm breathless. "I'd like that," his voice is sweet like honey and his eyes are melt like liquid chocolate.

He leaves me there to gasp and pant in a blushing frenzy as he shakes off his ink umbrella, dissipates it and opens my front door.

…_He smiled. Again! _I glance over my shoulder and see him removing his boots and placing them off to the side, _He walked me home. He's in my house. He's smiled! _For some reason or another, the fact that I could make him smile, warmed in the inside of my chest.

"Sakura," Sai turns to me and I blink back to reality, looking to him, "Are you coming?"

I nod vigorously and rush inside, slamming the door shut behind me and running to the kitchen to start a pot of tea. It's dry and toasty in my house, just how I left it, but I'm still wet and cold. I look to Sai from my kitchen as he comes down the hallway. He's pale and wet, he must be cold too.

I pull a tin of tea leaves from my cabinet and say while staring at my hands, "The bathroom's around the corner on the right if you want to shower. The sweater should be in my closet so I'll get it for you in a minute, if you wanna watch TV the remote is on the coffee table and if you want to watch a movie the racks are over to the left."

I wait, he doesn't answer for a long moment and I resist the urge to peek up at him. I wait. "Thanks," he finally says and just like that I'm thawed out. With a relaxed sigh I bend down and pull a silver pot from my cabinets below the counter. I turn the stove on high, fill the pot with water and put it on the stove before darting out of the room and into mine.

My room is dark and cold, the irony makes me smile ruefully, but I get to work. I throw open my closet door and begin ripping shirts aside. Dresses, t-shirts, tank tops, halters, bras, bikinis but no sweater, or at least not my Dad's, I still have my pink sweater staring at me from the back of the closet but I doubt Sai would want to wear _that_. _Maybe I moved it? I didn't send it back? I'm sure I still have it. Is it packed in the attic? No. It has to be here, I swear I saw it only last m-_

"Nice room."

I jump a good foot and let out the most girly of squeaks at the sound of his voice. I turn slowly and warily to meet his gaze but he's got a fake smile on. I smile back, but then decide against it (I'd only scare him) and let my face drop to a glare.

"Don't sneak up on people," I scold, "No one will ever like you if you do that," I lie. He already has all of Konaha wrapped around his artistic little finger! I feel my blood rush under my skin and the familiar sensation of anger is suddenly eating away at my stomach. I shake my head quickly, shaking the feel with it. I return to the task at hand and I'm searching again.

"Why do you do that, Sakura?" his voice still makes me tremble and my face heat, but I don't jump and I don't squeal.

"Do what?" My words are unsteady but I pride myself for holding together.

"Frown."

I _freeze_.

…

My hands are still, clutching a random article of clothing and my face is stuck in a half smile… _W-what? What did he just say? _My eyes are staring straight ahead but I'm seeing black rather than my room, my ears are pumping with blood and my breathing is so rapid I feel like I've run a mile.

_What's wrong with me? It's a simple question. It's a less simple answer, but he still asked and he should be answered. _I let out a deep break and swallow against the rock hard thickness of my throat, _I can handle this. I can answer him. I just have to open my mouth. _

My mouth is open but no words come out, in fact rather than words coming out of my mouth I feel tears come out of my eyes.

I remember the comments that have been made on my smile in the past. They still hurt, even though I know there's no way I can possibly be all they say I am, I can't help but believe them after all the years they've told me.I remember when Naruto and I first met, he'd told me he'd always watched me from a distance… but…_"You always look like you wanna hurt someone."_

My mouth closes and my hand falls from the shirt. _Naruto. _

_"Smile for once. Look like you're _not_ miserable for once."_ _Mom. _

_"Haha, you look so scary!" Ino_.

"Sakura?" The way my name rolls off of Sai's cursed tongue snaps me from my thoughts. I return to reality – for the second time – and remember that I've still not given him an answer.

I glance over my shoulder just enough to get a peek of his bare feet; he's close and he's still. I look back to my closet, silently cursing how all my clothes meshed together look like a blob of dark and dreary colors.

"I… don't… know. I just… do…" My words are slow and quiet but it's all I can muster. I'm ready to break, to shatter like glass and fall in shards to the ground. I hope he can't see my face; I hope he can't see my tears. I don't want to cry, but I can't stop. I shouldn't cry, it's just a question, but it hurts. I want to smile, I try to smile but I can't. My face is naturally mean. I can't help it.

It makes me sad…

He's the only one who doesn't care about that though, the only one who never comments on my face. In fact, more than once, he's called me beautiful… it brings me to tears yet again, though I fight them off, I think of the way he'll lean into my vision and tell me, "You're beautiful, Sakura chan."

I don't understand how he thinks I'm beautiful, I don't know what he sees, but it warms my cold heart when he says that to me. He's special, always has been.

And now he's had to go and ask me something complicated like this.

"Here," I finally spot my Dad's old grey sweater and pull it free from its hanger. I turn and shove it in his face before he can see mine and say as I walk away, "The tea will be ready soon." I bee line for the door, slip out and walk briskly down the hall. He doesn't immediately follow me, giving me a chance to reach the kitchen, save the tea before I ruin it, and fix myself up before he returns.

When Sai enters the living room again, everything seems to light up and warm, it's his natural energy. It affects everything and everyone, me especially. He stands there, wearing my father's old sweater and holding his wet bundle of a shirt.

"Thank you," he says, looking down at the sweater, "almost a perfect fit," he chuckles.

I blush and turn from him. As I remove two cups from their shelves, I nod down the hall towards the front door and say, "You can throw your shirt in the dryer for about a half an hour, I'll see if my Dad left any of his jogging pants behind later."

I wait for a long while, killing time in the kitchen before I'll have to turn to face him, but he doesn't go. Rather, he comes towards me with his shirt dripping across the floor as he does. I spin and glare at him, but suck in a breath preparing for the worst. I can see it in his face, he's ready to ask me another question.

"Why aren't your parents here with you?" He says it so calmly and so casually; he's always been as blunt as Naruto is stupid.

I let out a breath in relief, _that's not so bad. _

I quickly compose myself and glare at him as I say, "Don't poke your nose in other people's business. If you _must_ know," I punch him lightly in the shoulder and though he shows signs of pain, his eyes are void of emotion, "My Mom and Dad divorced. So they both live with their new families."

"They've left you behind? Do they not love you?"

He doesn't realize what he's doing, he can't know the blazing pain that he's suddenly lit in my chest. He can't know my head is spinning and my breathing is coming hard to me. The topic of my parents is one I've yet to fully face, and here he is staring me down and expecting me to face it.

"N… no. I um… I stayed behind." I swallow thickly, "They still love me, I know that."

"So you've two new families, yet you stay here alone. Why?"

I growl and punch him again, harder, "What did I just say about other people's business?"

Sai holds his gaze and I huff frustratedly, turning back to the tea, "Because I don't want to be with either of them." I answer even after I just told him no, I hiss in the back of my throat, he's impossible to resist.

"Why?"

My teeth grind together and my grip on the pot tightens dangerously, I feel the metal begin to bend under the pressure. The sensation of my hatred for my parents also settles in me as I snarl out, "Because I'm mad at them."

"Why?"

"Oh, GODS!" I spin on him in a fury, one of my arms unintentionally extended and meant to clip him in the face as I spin, but luckily he's fast enough to see it coming and dodge it. "Why do you _care_? Why do you care about anything I have to say? What have I ever done to deserve such persistent hounding! Why are you even here, Sai? I'm scary, it's no secret, you don't have to keep coming around to try and prove something!"

Sai blinks, his only sign of surprise and that pisses me off even more. I slam my fist down on the counter and everything in the vicinity leaps up from its respective place. "I will _not_ go to my parents, I hate them, I'm never going to forgive _either_ of them! They ditched me, they left me for their happy families and they've left me here to rot in the hell they divorced in! I hate them, I hate them both and I will never let them hurt me again!"

"There! Are you happy, does that satisfy you? Why the hell do you want to know so much about me, what is so interesting that you can't give me a moments peace!"

Come the end of my rant, I am looking up, tears cascading down my face and teeth clenched. Sai stands there, a sorrow in his eyes and a soft frown on his otherwise composed face.

I stand there and huff and puff, feeling as if I'd just gone toe to toe with Naruto and was left exhausted. I'm furious; I thought steam was coming out from my ears at this point. My fury dries my tears and I am now ready to chew him out at a moment's notice. Sai still holds his composure though. Enough at least to offer me a light smile and say with such sincerity that I panic:

"I find you intriguing, Sakura, and I want to know everything about the one I love."

I gasp and clamp a hand over my mouth, tears instantly formed and ready to spill over. I take a moment to be sad before I shot a deathly glare at Sai – he's mask is also broken and he looks concerned now – and give him me best boxing punch to the chest. He staggers back and I rush from the room towards my bathroom, my mouth still over my mouth to keep the sounds of my sobs contained and my feet pounding so hard I glance down to make sure I'm not breaking the floorboards.

"Sakura san!"

I pause momentarily at the suffix he's added to my name; the title is like a kunai to my heart. I then shake myself free of my pain and continue rushing to my bathroom.

"Sakura san," Sai tries again, only this time I realize he's closer from before and I hear his footsteps coming up behind me. I then make a mad dash for the bathroom, knowing full well I won't make it – it's too far – but I try anyways. Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll trip or something.

However, I have no such luck, because before I turn the corner and slip into the bathroom a hand clamps down on my forearm. I use the force of Sai's grip to hold me up as I spin on my heel and pull back a fist for a punch.

My balled fist collides with Sai's gullet and though I move to run the moment my attack makes contact with him I—I'm stuck? I look to Sai to see he's not even fazed by my blow… In fact, he looks composed.

Thunder _booms_ and my spine ices over painfully.

My hand is still buried in the sweater and connected with Sai's rock-hard abs, and though I put enough power in the punch to blow Naruto a yard or two across a room, Sai is perfectly fine.

I gasp and try to jump away but his grip on me holds me in place, though I pull my fist to me and shift into a defensive position. I don't like where this is going; I feel like I'm in danger.

"W-what do you want?"

He's eyes liquidate and for a brief moment I see a pain and a hurt deep in his secretive eyes. In the next instant it's gone and I'm left with a throbbing sense of guilt. "Why do you frown?" he asks.

"I told you I don't know!"

"Why do you frown?"

"Can you not hear me? I don't _know_!"

Lightning then illuminates the house and for a moment I am stunned by the beauty of Sai's handsome face in the pale light. He takes advantage of the moment and steps closer to me and I feel my back press against a wall as he pushes me back. Mt gut twists and I am completely exposed; my mouth hangs open and my eyes are wide as the tears from earlier slip free.

"Why do hide from my questions?"

"W-why do you care?" I ask in a shaky whisper, my heart slamming in my chest and my blood chilling over as he blocks me with his body. I take a moment to glance to my sides, and my eyes widen when I realize I've no means of escape. I've been cornered and there's not a hole for me to slip through, I'm at his mercy and it makes me tremble.

His grip softens when he feels this.

"Because." I answer defensively; I almost wish he knew the answers, if someway he knew with me having to tell him. The truth was painful, true, but I still want him to know. I want him to know everything about me. To tell him though, would be to rip open old wounds, and as much as I want him to know of me, I cannot go back inside myself. There is too much pain there.

"Because why?"

One of his hands touches mine and I look down, surprised, and confused. His fingers brush over my knuckles gently and warmth enters my hand from the contact of his skin. I then look back to him, feeling a new sensation rise up in my throat.

"Because I want to know more about you, Sakura." He says softly.

My heart skips at beat at the sound of him whispering my name and I shudder at the gentle caress of his hand on mine. "Why?" My voice is barely audible.

"Why do you frown?" He counters, but this time the words hit home and more tears fall from my face. His uses the pad of his thumb to wipe them away and I feel streaks of blazing heat left on my cheeks.

"Because I can't smile."

"Smile for me."

That takes me back a bit and I am myself again, somewhat. I glare at him and knee him in the shin; he doesn't even show that he felt it, "No!"

"Please, Sakura."

"No!"

"I saw you smile once before," he tries in a soft voice, "You smile for Sasuke, can you please try and smile for me."

"I don't smile," I say.

"You smile for him," he contradicts.

"He's different!"

"How?" Sai presses his body to mine and I gasp! He's warm, and despite myself, I feel myself melt into him some. A pleasure blooms in my chest and though it's not a smile, the frown on my face fades away.

"Sakura." His voice is deep and husky, I look up to him and his eyes bear down on mine. I feel myself get lost in the brown layers of his eyes and I feel the brush of his hand on my chin. His skin is so warm on mine that I sigh in pleasure…

My head is in a blissful state of empty and I let myself be carried away by Sai. I cannot think, I don't want to and I can trust Sai enough to have his way.

"Why do you care?" I ask quietly.

"Because," is all he says and, with my chin in hand, he lowers his lips to mine.

I sigh softly and go limp in his arms, the pleasure is instant and It is great. His lips are gently and they lovingly move over my own, they are slow and calming and his hands are comforting as they take to my waist. His kiss is warm too, I can feel that natural grace surging through him and I feel as if he's an open wire feeding me his own energy.

My own hands twitch at my sides and beg for something to hold, I let them come up and take the back of his sweater, allowing me to pull him closer, which I do. I begin to move my lips in response to his and I hear his heart beat harden.

I break for air first, stopping my moving all together and turning my head ever so slightly so my lips slide out from under his. However he doesn't pull away just yet, his lips crawl over the skin of my chin and across to my ear where he breaths before saying, "I love you, Sakura."

I let out a breath in a light moan, turning my face and my blush from him as he begins his tender assault on my neck. I hear him whisper my name against my skin, the warmth burns like a wildfire and soon I am a mumbling mess of hands and gasps.

"S-Sa – ah…. Sai." I take his head in my hand, pressing him to me and hoping he'll understand. He does and he pauses his advances, moving back from me to look at me.

I looking into his eyes and though there is still sorrow, I see a joy I've never seen before. Though he's not smiling, he's not composed. No, he looks ecstatic, though controlled and prepared for what he expects to be my rejection.

However, rather than break his opened heart I smile. Just once, and though it is small it is a pure, a real, and genuine smile.

Then I punch him in the stomach once more, with the same strength as before, and unlike before he is unprepared and he hunches over with a chuckle. I drop my head back and giggle lightly, feeling Sai recover and rise up to kiss my exposed neck again.

* * *

Holy crap, I had worked on this story in like… September of last year, and I just got it done!

Whew, I'm just glad it's finally published.

I liked it, I thought Sakura was funny how she'd be happy and then fuss at Sai, yet he'd know what she really felt. I know Sakura's relatable for some people but maybe it drive others off. Anywho, I think this couple is adorable, even though I'm also a SasuSaku. Yes, it is possible to be a fan of both pairings. Please if you leave a review, don't let it be about how much you hate SaiSaku.

Please leave me a review!


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